I have written about emotional triggers before but some remain hidden. Buried deep within our psyche it can be extremely challenging to discover the initial reaction that sets you off. For example, I sometimes get sad and can’t pinpoint why.

Understanding and addressing hidden triggers is crucial to emotional well-being, better relationships, and personal growth. In this article, we’ll explore what causes us to bury the triggers, and how to identify them so that you can treat them with compassion and empathy.

Why are some emotional triggers hidden

The amygdala is a small almond-shaped formation in the brain and has a central role in processing emotions and the formation of emotional memories. It is the portion of the brain that can store emotional reactions to the past without you being consciously aware of the process. Therein lies the reason why emotional triggers can hide away only to be set off by an unrelated present-day situation.

For instance, someone who had been rejected by their parents as a child may become upset when a friend cancels an appointment. They might interpret the cancellation as abandonment.

Trauma and repression

When overwhelming pain or distress arises in our lives we often bury the experiences as a protective measure to shield us from the suffering. This reaction allows us to function amid traumatic events that may otherwise have us incapacitated.

In such events, the amygdala and hippocampus play a role in our defense strategy by encoding the emotional charge of the event while sometimes blocking or breaking up our conscious recollection of it. As a result, the memory of the trauma can be stored in the unconscious mind or the body as a physiological experience. Now your emotions are hidden away, waiting to surface when you experience a situation similar to the initial one that caused the distress.

How to identify your hidden emotional triggers

Ironically the best way to uncover your unconscious triggers is through awareness. But how can you become aware of something that is eluding detection? There are several things you can do that will give you the ability to start spotting the triggers.

Mindfulness and self-reflection

Mindfulness helps bring unconscious reactions to conscious awareness. This practice has helped me tremendously in my emotional journey. Here are some questions I have found useful in observing my reactions during tense emotional moments:

  • What just happened?
  • How am I feeling?
  • Have I felt this way before?
  • What caused me to respond in the way I did?

 

It does take a lot of detective work because you only get initial glimpses of the hidden triggers. They pop up and, unless you are really aware of the situations that set them off, they will disappear quickly, leaving you feeling frustrated.

Keep an emotional journal

Write about the times you feel great and those times when your emotions are at a low tide. Record the events that trigger strong emotions and then contemplate whether you have had similar experiences in the past.

When you go back through your journal you get to look for patterns, which then gives you stepping stones for overcoming your triggers.

Look for recurring themes

As you flick through the earlier entries in your journal there may be themes that crop up consistently such as a need to feel valued (which was one of my issues), a desire to be recognized by others (another one I’ll stick my hand up for), or wanting to be loved.

As an example, I would get angry whenever someone would tell me “Are you stupid?” Those three words were like waving a red cloth to a bull for me. They set me off, yet I eventually gained insight (thanks to mindfulness) that my trigger was due to my wanting to be valued by people.

I want to let you know that when you start doing ego work, you will be digging down into the wells of your consciousness and then the emotions (and the triggers both obvious and obscure) start to bubble up to the surface.

How to address emotional triggers

Once you know your triggers, what can you do about dealing with them? The answer to that is: You can do plenty.  That’s because there are a variety of tools available to help you. No matter which method you select, make sure you approach it and yourself with self-compassion, understanding, and intentional action.

1. Acknowledge your emotions

As you will have noticed the triggers we are discussing have slipped into stealth mode due to repression of the most painful emotions. When you start working with any of the following modalities, those bottled emotions will come up.

I have learned that the first step to any type of emotional work is non-judgmental acceptance of your feelings. Allow them to be. Process them, and let them heal you. Research supports the idea that acceptance improves your psychological well-being and makes you more emotionally resilient against triggers.

2. Uncover the root causes

I touched upon journaling in the previous section as a means of detecting the what and why of your emotional pressure points. One therapy you might like to explore is Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR). It is effective in dealing with PTSD as well as reducing the reaction to traumatic triggers.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is another option. It helps you to identify the negative thought patterns that automatically surface when you have been set off emotionally. I found going through a 2 month CBT course with a therapist enlightening and insightful. It’s a great choice if you love introspection and dissecting your beliefs and self-perceptions.

Somatic Therapy focuses on helping you become more aware of your body and the connection between it and your emotions. The goal is to release any pent-up emotions and tension in the body and to change trauma-related responses so that you aren’t triggered by them anymore.

3. Healthy coping strategies

When you sense yourself getting worked up or someone has pushed your button, you can use grounding techniques to help you regain your composure.

Deep breathing

Getting emotionally triggered causes the sympathetic side of the body’s autonomic nervous system (ANS) to kick in. This is the one that puts you into “Fight or flight” mode. To counteract this you need to engage the opposite half of the ANS – the parasympathetic side. It brings your body and mind back into a sense of calm.

This is where deep breathing is powerful. It acts as a switch to flick you over to the soothing side of your ANS. One practice you can engage in is what is known as Box Breathing:

Inhale deeply for a count of four, hold your breath for the same count, and exhale for four counts. Then repeat the process. You’ll soon find that your nervous system has loosened up.

Affirmations

Here is something I recently discovered for myself when doing affirmations. There was a surface resistance and discomfort that I felt. It was an “A-ha” moment for me because I learned that I was dealing with a profound emotional issue that was tucked away deep inside me.

That’s one of the powerful things about affirmations: they play a surprising role in uncovering hidden triggers by acting as mirrors to our subconscious beliefs and emotional wounds.

When a moment of discomfort pops up through doing affirmations, take it as an opportunity to explore the source of the reaction:

  • Why does this affirmation feel unsettling?
  • What memories or beliefs are connected to this response?
  • Are there any other associated feelings that I am aware of?

Answering these questions can uncover hidden triggers tied to specific experiences or unmet needs.

Engage your senses

Anchoring yourself in the present moment allows you to refocus on your surroundings. That turns off the awareness of the emotional trigger. Touch a textured object and concentrate on how it feels, see if you can notice any minor sensations as you feel it. Another example is listening to soothing music. See if you can focus on a particular instrument. Look at five things that are around you, and pay attention to the colors and lighting of each object.

I do these as a technique for enhancing my mindfulness. When I find myself distracted from the present moment, I hone in on something in my environment to help anchor me back to “now”.

Your journey to emotional freedom begins

Identifying and addressing hidden emotional triggers is a transformative process that requires courage and self-compassion. By acknowledging your emotions, uncovering their roots, and implementing healthy coping strategies, you can break free from the grip of triggers and create a more fulfilling life.

Remember, the journey of emotional healing is ongoing. Celebrate your progress, seek support when needed, and trust that each step brings you closer to emotional freedom.

 

– Brian Simms