When was the last time you simply sat back and did…nothing? How would you feel if told to stop and just “be”? Maybe anxious. Maybe it would be the worst experience in the world for you. Yet, perhaps stopping is exactly what you need to do. We can get busy with work, chasing careers, pursuing personal goals, socializing, and trying to make our mark on the world.

There’s nothing wrong with ambition. It gives you a sense of achievement. It makes many people feel alive. Yet, the constant forward moment and the drive to keep going can lead to emotional and physical burnout.

On top of that, I want to address another issue: self-validation.

Do some real introspection and ask yourself: What motivates me to stay busy?

It may be that you find self-worth in the praise and admiration of others. Your achievements bring you the recognition that provides you with self-worth. “I am someone!” your ego screams out proudly. You have built your self-identity on the foundation of external factors.

The issue here is that these factors are constantly changing. That means you must always seek that next “fix” for your ego. You fill your schedule with appointments and meetings. You are constantly on the go and have no time to stop. Your self-value is based on your “doing.”

Letting go of the illusion

As I mentioned in the introduction, perhaps the idea of stopping fills you with terror. You don’t want to just “be” because then you may come to understand that the identity you constructed is false. That it’s an illusion. A thing that changes and morphs according to the whims and wishes of others.

However, think about this: Your emotional state is constantly under attack as you have to always conform to the expectations and desires placed on you by other people. Do you think there is peace in that?

There isn’t. You are in a never-ending cycle of torment and anxiety.

I have been there many times because I was a “people pleaser”. My sense of self-worth came from taking care of those around me. Making sure they were happy and satisfied. Do you think that was reciprocated? Most of the time it wasn’t. Yet, I persisted in putting others first.

The result was I ended up with severe depression which lasted for years. It was the result of me always thinking I was a failure. Comparing myself to others and wishing I was as successful as they were. Wanting the happiness they seemed to have. I busied myself and it produced no results. Just constant disappointment.

Does the above resonate with you?

Then I discovered something that helped me immensely.

The power of “being”

I was lying on the floor of my apartment one night. Just lying there and thinking “I’m doing nothing and it’s okay.” I was merely “being”.

Reflect on the time when you were a child. How often would you just lie on the grass, look up at the clouds, and not think about anything? Maybe you did a similar activity. The point behind this is that no matter the activity, you were just enjoying the moment. That’s the power of being: You were simply living and feeling alive.

There was no need for anything external to give you a sense of self-validation. You didn’t need it. You were happy and fulfilled by being present.

As we grow up life tends to become complicated. The free time we have started to slowly get eaten away as pressure and expectations are placed upon us. Stealthily our sense of worth becomes entwined into these demands.

A study conducted by the Daily Mail says that 46% of us find it hard to switch off and relax.

Yet, if you were to simply “be” it would give you the chance to rediscover yourself. The introspection that stems from that will allow you to live more authentically. That’s when true peace, joy, happiness, and self-worth arise.

Gallup conducted a poll across 116 different countries and territories. What this research highlighted was that 76% of us long for a calm life.

Make time to “be”

It’s important to prioritize self-care. What good are you to anyone if you are physically and emotionally exhausted?

You don’t need to set aside hours each day to embrace “being”.  It is something you can fit in when you have 5 or 10 minutes spare. However, if you can find more time, the better. But don’t stress.

Mindfulness is a popular practice. It’s because it’s simple to do and can be done for several minutes or more. You don’t need anything other than your breath. There are many resources online that you can access to learn this ancient technique for being.

It’s something that I do daily. It is what helped me overcome the major depression that I was battling.

For those who want to just “be”, mindfulness is powerful. That’s because it can be incorporated into all aspects of your life: walking, eating, sitting, standing, and meditating.

Here is another practice to try. If there is a park or similar amenity near your house or workplace, go and sit there for 30 minutes or so. Don’t do anything. Merely sit and soak in the atmosphere. Listen to the sounds. Look at the colors. Smell the air. Allow the breeze to brush your skin. Just “be”.

Are you addicted to digital life? This may be hard but have a digital disconnect. Put away all your electronic devices for an evening and spend the time just “being”. I found out that I have a habit of checking my social media accounts constantly during the day and night. In the evening I would jump onto YouTube or my streaming service.

What I have done is cut back. Sometimes during the week, I put my tablet computer away and just sit with my eyes closed and enjoy the quietness of the evening.

The outcome of “being”

By “being” you begin to live more authentically. You develop greater self-awareness which then causes your personal goals to shift and align with your true morals and values. Let me take you through the other advantages gained.

Enhanced Mindfulness

As I mentioned, mindfulness has gained popularity in recent years. Through “being” you start to live more fully present in the moment. This heightened awareness cultivates a deeper appreciation for life’s experiences and promotes a sense of clarity and calm.

Reduced Stress and Anxiety

By focusing on the present moment and letting go of past regrets and future worries, you reduce stress and anxiety. Embracing “being” promotes acceptance and equanimity, helping you navigate life’s challenges with greater ease.

Improved Emotional Well-being

You will be fostering emotional strength by nurturing self-compassion and cultivating acceptance. This approach enables you to navigate challenging emotions with greater skill and attain a heightened sense of inner peace and contentment.

Better Relationships

You grow deeper, more meaningful connections with others. By being fully present and authentic in your interactions, you can cultivate empathy, understanding, and intimacy, leading to stronger and more fulfilling relationships.

Heightened Creativity and Innovation

You become more curious and open to ideas which encourages creativity and innovation. By letting go of preconceived notions and embracing the unknown, you can tap into your creative potential and explore new concepts and possibilities.

Increased Resilience

Resilience is enhanced allowing you to bounce back from setbacks and challenges. By cultivating mindfulness and acceptance, you can adapt to change more effectively and navigate adversity with grace and resilience.

Enhanced Well-being and Fulfillment

Ultimately, embracing “being” leads to a greater sense of well-being and fulfillment. By living authentically, cultivating mindfulness, and nurturing meaningful connections, you can create a life that is rich in purpose, meaning, and joy.

Become “you”

Most of us have spent our lives being someone other than who we feel we are meant to be. That’s why we have a deep sense of discontent and sadness within ourselves. If you don’t believe me, ask yourself “Am I truly happy?” You need to be unapologetically honest with yourself when fathoming the answer to that question. We have become experts at burying those things that make us feel uncomfortable about ourselves.

Taking the steps to “being” you dig away at the surface and allow the true essence of who you are to be uncovered. Don’t be worried because that person is full of love, light, and self-acceptance.

By discovering your authentic self, your life will go through readjustments. Relationships will end. Perhaps you decide to change careers. You might even move to a new city or country.  Embrace it all, because you are now living authentically.

It’s not an easy road to travel, but it’s a necessary one. It takes courage because you will be facing those uncomfortable things you have buried for many years. In my journey,  I have shed many tears, but they have washed me clean and allowed me to let go of hurts.

Are you willing to “be”?

– Brian Simms