You are making great progress towards your goal, then suddenly…WHAM! You have been derailed by a setback. It has left you stunned, taken the wind out of your sails, and left you wondering how you can recover from the glitch.

There have been many times I have been in this situation, reeling at the sudden obstacle that has knocked me off track. Those times can be frustrating and exhausting. You take stock of whether you have what it takes to keep on going.

It is possible to pick yourself up, rebuild your self-discipline, and push on towards your dreams and goals. In this article, I will give you several methods that I use that have helped me immensely in this area.

The main thing about setbacks

No matter what you do in life, there are going to be hindrances that will crop up. These could be failing to achieve an item on your routine, habits that have failed, or any number of internal (i.e. mental and emotional) or external blockages.

If you think that your journey toward your goal is going to be smooth and easy, think again. Anyone will tell you that setbacks are inevitable. Accept that fact and you won’t be so taken aback when these detours to your plans arise. For that’s what setbacks are: detours. Don’t consider them as the end of the road. You need to replan and reroute the trip that leads to your goal.

The nature of setbacks

As I mentioned, everyone faces blocks in their pathway to success. Sure, it can be irritating but don’t think that these hindrances define who you are.

That was something I had to learn in my personal growth. When you suffer from low self-esteem and a negative self-image, as I did, then it can be challenging to not feel that the failures you face aren’t a reflection of you.  The setbacks can rock your already shaky confidence and diminish your motivation.

Beating yourself only makes the situation worse. You can literally sense yourself descending into a black pit of despair and hopelessness. Changing your outlook is possible. Reframing the obstacles you face can help you see them as growth opportunities rather than as a reflection of your ineptitude.

Thomas Edison failed multiple times when inventing the lightbulb, but he never gave up. You need that same resilience if you want to achieve your goal.

Reflect and identify what went wrong

The first step in the process of rebuilding self-discipline is to take a deep breath, have a time out, and contemplate what went wrong. Is it something that was caused by you, or was the issue due to some other factor beyond your control? Internal factors can be fear or self-doubt. At this initial stage unpack the issue. Thoroughly pull it apart and analyze each component of the setback.

Mistakes aren’t meant to be ignored or avoided. Be honest with them and with yourself because the obstacles are your teachers. Allow them to shine a spotlight on what needs your attention. Don’t dwell on the failure. Examine it with an open mindset. This gives you the clarity from which you can make the necessary adjustments to prevent the mistake from occurring again in the future.

Reframe your mindset

The next part for reinvigorating self-disciple is to take stock of your thinking and self-belief. When you face obstacles your default setting (as it was for me) may be to pull yourself down. That approach does nothing constructive for you. As I mentioned in the previous section, see hindrances as growth opportunities.

This requires you to change your mindset. Replacing any negative mental or verbal commentary with something more empowering. Examples are:

Negative Self-Talk: “I always fail at this.”
Empowering Language: “I’m still learning, and every step brings me closer to improvement.”

Negative Self-Talk: “I’m not good enough.”
Empowering Language: “I am capable and growing with each experience.”

Negative Self-Talk: “This is too hard for me.”
Empowering Language: “This is challenging, but I can take it one step at a time and improve.”

Negative Self-Talk: “I’ll never be able to do this.”
Empowering Language: “I haven’t mastered it yet, but I can get there with effort and patience.”

Negative Self-Talk: “I made a mistake, so I’m a failure.”
Empowering Language: “Mistakes are part of the process. I’m learning and growing from them.”

When you do have a win, no matter how small, show gratitude. Thankfulness is a powerful way of focusing on the great things that are happening around you and for you. You will find that this helps build and maintain momentum when things don’t go according to plan.

Practice daily self-discipline techniques

Having a routine that helps you maintain self-discipline can shield you against the potentially devastating mental and emotional effects of setbacks. Daily rituals such as meditation, affirmations, or exercise, help to reset your mind and you can focus on the road ahead rather than what went wrong.

In my own life I always have daily mediation time (it’s a non-negotiable!) and also, over the past year, I have embraced affirmations.

It’s okay to have time to recover when an obstacle has truly hit you hard. Process the emotions and feelings, allow them space, and acknowledge how you are feeling. The recuperation timeframe varies from individual to individual and by how big the setback was. For me, it can be a couple of days through to several days, but then I know within myself that it’s time to get back on track. The most important thins is to treat yourself with love, understanding, and self-compassion.

It’s a setback, not a failure

No matter what you put your hand to you will find that, eventually, there will be a brick wall in the way. Sure, it can be annoying and have you saying things under your breath that you hope no one will hear.

Don’t ever think that when you hit that bump in the road it means you need to quit. It’s merely an obstacle that you need to work around. When you go on a long journey and come across an unexpected detour, do you get in a huff and head back home? No! You follow the alternate route and arrive at your destination.

Don’t ever turn back on your trip toward your goal. Follow the detours. Stop, rest, take account of what your next move is, and then continue on your way.

Setbacks aren’t signs of failure. They are opportunities for you to grow in determination and resilience. Embrace them as they help build your self-discipline.

 

 – Brian Simms