You are unique. Just Be You.

January 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm Leave a comment

In a previous post about Tim Tebow, I talked about the need to be authentic. There is a great quote from Leo Buscaglia (from the Book Born for Love)  that I like in that regard:

“You are the perfect you. No one can be a better you, no matter how much they so desire. This does not mean that you don’t have the potential to become more. It simply means that you are not in competition with anyone. When you truly accept the fact that you have all you need to become fully you, you free yourself from a self-created, artificial identity. To be someone you are not takes inordinate amounts of energy that could better go toward a more productive activity.

Since you are one of a kind, the message is clear. You have something to offer that will never again be possible. To devalue this is not only a tragedy for you, but, in fact, for the world.”

It is sad that so many people are walking away from who they are. But who exactly are you by the time you graduate from high school, college, after 40 or 50 years. You are certainly no longer just the son or daughter of John and Jane Doe. You are the product not only of your family upbringing (your parents’ values, your interactions with your siblings, what you learned at church or in your community) but also the results of personal experience, struggles and interactions with friends, teachers, boyfriends and girlfriend; how you were impacted by these individuals or personal events and reacted to them.

That is why we are unique as individuals. Even twins do not react the same way to every single event or relationships that they have in common.

People often ask me if I am where I am in life because of my upbringing or despite my upbringing. The unique circumstances in my life have taught me a unique set of lessons that I would be foolish not to use. These circumstances are unique because no one in this world has lived all the stories I have lived and interacted with all the individuals with whom I have interacted. If they did interact with everyone with whom I interacted, I know they did not interact with them in the same way!

That is why no two people are the same or two leaders are the same. While we can learn from others’ styles of leadership; the best leadership is the one that is informed by our unique life stories/experiences and skills.

This means that we don’t need to defy our past or overcome them. At the same time, the expression “embracing our past is not correct”. There is nothing to embrace.

The events that happen in our past are just that “they happened”. Our past doesn’t own us or control us. In a way, we “own” our past in that we can always control our reaction to it (that’s another posting). We need to use lessons from these events in the past to take actions in the present that will lead to a better outcome in the future.

Entry filed under: Sucess. Tags: .

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